On becoming neurotic

For those getting ready to embark on the adoption journey---be prepared. When I started, I thought the homestudy was going to be the hardest part. If you're not familiar with the adoption process, the homestudy is not just when the social worker comes to visit your house. That is part of it, just not anywhere near all of it. I'll have to do a post on my timeline to give you a better feel for it.

Anyway, I thought the homestudy was going to be the hard part. People told me the waiting was the hardest, but I just didn't get it. I mean, I have waited for things my whole life. I can wait. No big deal.

Ok...I'll admit it. I was wrong. Way wrong. The waiting is so hard! I am a type A, anal retentive over planner. Waiting for something like this just does not mesh well with my personality. Because I have NO control or power, I am becoming neurotic about reading into things and looking for signs. Case worker didn't answer my "just saying hi" email? Maybe they've found me a baby but don't want to say anything yet. Case worker sends an email asking for clarification on what I could accept in the baby's medical history? Maybe they have someone in mind for me. Case worker sends a short reply to an email I sent? Maybe she's tired of me and debating the merits of working with me (My email history with my case worker might deserve a post all it's own). As for the signs--- see 3 red haired little boys while out shopping and become convinced that, not only am I getting a boy, he's going to have red hair. While driving out to my parent's house (in a rural town at dusk) I thought "if I see a deer it will mean the baby is coming soon". An entire HERD crossed the road in front of me. I was pretty sure the call was coming the next day! (It didn't)

So, anyway...for you newbies....be prepared. You'll start this journey as reasonably sane, together people. Just don't assume you'll stay that way. :)