Ramblings

I should be in the shower. Or asleep. Instead, I just reread a bunch of old posts and now I have all these thoughts running around my head that need to get out.

First....I chose the quote above because it is totally how I feel about E. I just spent 99% of today holding and cuddling her because she felt crummy after her shots yesterday. She didn't go to bed till 930 (normally she's asleep by 8) and I'm sitting here missing her. I don't think there will ever be enough days for me to get my fill of this girl. She makes my heart swell. 

And now to continue with the random thoughts:

* Nobody prepares you for the intense worry you feel as a parent. It's worse as a single parent cause there's not usually someone else in the house who can look at your child and tell you they're probably ok. I'm pretty sure E's file at the pediatrician's office is flagged with a special "wacko mom" sticker. I call the advice line or jump on the website all.the.time. 

* It really is darkest before the dawn. Some of my bleakest posts were just weeks before I was matched with E's first mom.

* I miss my bunny. I miss rubbing her nose, how excited she'd get for treats, watching her scare the cat and getting one of her rare kisses. 

* I love being a stay at home mom (even though, or maybe especially because, it's only for a short time). August is truly going to suck. 

* I may need some form of therapy....I am full out dreading moving E into her own room this summer. She has always slept in my room and I love having her close by. I love that when I wake up at 2 am because I haven't heard her in a while I can just roll over and touch her (her bassinet is literally only about 6 inches from my bed). But, she's only got about 2 inches before she's out of room in the bassinet so I'm going to have to break down and move her to her crib. The thought literally makes me want to cry. See....therapy.

* I find it odd that people keep inviting me to play games on Facebook. Who has that kind of time? I don't get to shave on a daily basis...

* It is still surreal and magical to see E wearing, playing with or using things I bought during the wait.

* I owe so may people thank you notes. Still. They WILL get done this summer. Somehow.

Ok.....brain feels a little less cluttered. Goodnight.

My California Girl

I know it's been forever since I've posted and I know I should do a long one and update everyone on how E is doing.....but we're having too much fun enjoying my temporary stay at home mom status. :) I will say that she had her 6 month appointment today (a little late) and she weighs 14 pounds 14 ozs and is 26 inches long. She has 2 bottom teeth, can sign more, eat, all done and want, can say mama and is working on grandma and grandpa, can sit up pretty well on her own (especially if there's other babies around), can roll over to get places and has started scooting but is stuck in reverse. She loves swim class and enjoys watching all the kids at library story time. She is funny and smart and sweet and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Forever grateful. Forever blessed.