A reminder

The moment captured in this photo is only possible because of the deep love and selfless actions of an amazing woman. November is National Adoption Month. Each day this month, please say a prayer for all birth mothers and all expectant mothers considering adoption.......their greatest sadness will enable someone to experience their greatest joy. And please, please, please....do not make assumptions about birthmothers or pass judgement.....we adoptive mamas feel just as strongly about our kids' birthmothers (and birth fathers) as we do about our kids. We will go all mama bear on your butt if you criticize or speak badly them. They entrusted us with their, and our, greatest blessing. 

Ramblings

I should be in the shower. Or asleep. Instead, I just reread a bunch of old posts and now I have all these thoughts running around my head that need to get out.

First....I chose the quote above because it is totally how I feel about E. I just spent 99% of today holding and cuddling her because she felt crummy after her shots yesterday. She didn't go to bed till 930 (normally she's asleep by 8) and I'm sitting here missing her. I don't think there will ever be enough days for me to get my fill of this girl. She makes my heart swell. 

And now to continue with the random thoughts:

* Nobody prepares you for the intense worry you feel as a parent. It's worse as a single parent cause there's not usually someone else in the house who can look at your child and tell you they're probably ok. I'm pretty sure E's file at the pediatrician's office is flagged with a special "wacko mom" sticker. I call the advice line or jump on the website all.the.time. 

* It really is darkest before the dawn. Some of my bleakest posts were just weeks before I was matched with E's first mom.

* I miss my bunny. I miss rubbing her nose, how excited she'd get for treats, watching her scare the cat and getting one of her rare kisses. 

* I love being a stay at home mom (even though, or maybe especially because, it's only for a short time). August is truly going to suck. 

* I may need some form of therapy....I am full out dreading moving E into her own room this summer. She has always slept in my room and I love having her close by. I love that when I wake up at 2 am because I haven't heard her in a while I can just roll over and touch her (her bassinet is literally only about 6 inches from my bed). But, she's only got about 2 inches before she's out of room in the bassinet so I'm going to have to break down and move her to her crib. The thought literally makes me want to cry. See....therapy.

* I find it odd that people keep inviting me to play games on Facebook. Who has that kind of time? I don't get to shave on a daily basis...

* It is still surreal and magical to see E wearing, playing with or using things I bought during the wait.

* I owe so may people thank you notes. Still. They WILL get done this summer. Somehow.

Ok.....brain feels a little less cluttered. Goodnight.

My California Girl

I know it's been forever since I've posted and I know I should do a long one and update everyone on how E is doing.....but we're having too much fun enjoying my temporary stay at home mom status. :) I will say that she had her 6 month appointment today (a little late) and she weighs 14 pounds 14 ozs and is 26 inches long. She has 2 bottom teeth, can sign more, eat, all done and want, can say mama and is working on grandma and grandpa, can sit up pretty well on her own (especially if there's other babies around), can roll over to get places and has started scooting but is stuck in reverse. She loves swim class and enjoys watching all the kids at library story time. She is funny and smart and sweet and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Forever grateful. Forever blessed.

Food, glorious food!

E has been very interested in food for over a month now. I actually started feeling guilty eating around her....she'd smack her lips and watch every bite. We had her 4 month appointment this week and I discussed this with her dr. I love her pediatrician! She always seems so happy to see us, spends a long time with us and makes sure all my questions get answered. She's also very knowledgable about current studies, research, etc. Anyway, she said that E could start solids, as long as I wasn't giving enough to make a meal (she wants to make sure she's still getting enough formula each day). I swear Emma understood what the dr said....the words were no sooner out of the doctors mouth when E started squealing and waving her arms around! Thursday night we face timed with Grandma and Grandpa as E got her first taste of cereal! It was pretty funny. She'd make the worst face, spit most of it out, then suck on her tongue and lips. :) I'm sure not much made it into her tummy but we sure had fun. 

And, in case you're interested, Emma is now 24 inches long (25%) and weighs 12 lbs 11 ozs (16%). Her dr showed me the stats plotted on a graph and she's following her growth curve perfectly! 

She's so much fun to be around and so easy going....I really hate that Spring Break is almost over. 14 work days till Easter break, then 25 work days till Summer break. But, who's counting.....

No words

I waited a long time to see this.....and they waited right along with me. I think there were times we all thought it might not happen. 

But now, there's this. And there are not enough words to describe how wonderful this is.

How can it be?

I'm not exactly sure how I went from this

to this so very quickly. And how is it possible that the same 3 months that dragged by so excruciatingly slowly last year just flew by this year? 

I think, in the interest of fairness, that when you have to wait what feels like forever just to have your baby then it should take just a little longer for the tiny baby days to disappear.

Don't get me wrong......I love this girl (so much!) just the way she is! And she's so much fun right now!! But.....I look back at those tiny baby pics and can't help but miss that little bundle just a little. Maybe....probably....it's because I feel like time just flies now and I worry if I blink she'll be grown. 

At three months, Emma is very interested in trying to sit up, talks all the time, has learned how to yell to make a point, loves seeing other babies, sleeps through the night (has for a few weeks) and just today learned how to grab a toy and put it in her mouth. She's been drooling a ton and sucking on her hands and fingers so I'm thinking we are in the early stages of teething. (And if anyone knows where to find little bibs....not the big ones for when they're eating....let me know. I checked three stores today. She can soak a shirt in 10 minutes!) I swear I've heard her say hi and yeah and my dad swears he heard her say no. But, since nobody else has heard it, we're not counting it....yet. :) 

And, while I can all too vividly recall my life before my girl....I can no longer imagine my life without her. She is my sidekick, my missing piece, my miracle. I will forever be grateful.

Help!

So.....I've got a baby girl sleeping and I'm wide awake so I thought I'd do a much needed update. We all know they are muh better with pictures.....especially when those pictures are of an incredibly sweet and beautiful girl. Problem is, I've sent the pictures to blogger twice and they've yet to come through. :(

Ideas? Advice?