2 years ago

2 years ago today I hugged Mama T for the first time. E's original due date was Oct. 24.  We were officially matched with T on Oct. 16. Mom and I flew to CA on Oct 26....thinking we were getting there just in time. Hah! God and newborns have twisted senses of humor and their own timing. Who knew we would fly home 2 weeks later without a baby.....but with grateful hearts for the time we were able to spend getting to really know T.  

Who knew just 10 days later I would gaze at the most beautiful face I had ever seen.....and promptly send out the pic above to friends and loved ones letting them know E was finally here and was absolutely perfect. How is it even possible that 2 years has gone by? That sweet, tiny, smiley baby has grown into a sweet, tiny, smiley, opinionated, smart, funny, beautiful and still perfect girl. 

Holding her for the first time I felt humble and awed at the gift I was being given. Every night, as I watch her sleep, I still feel the same way. 

Best night

Wow! It's been forever since I updated. I guess I need to stop worrying about adding pictures and just write.

Today's post is for me, I guess. I don't ever want to forget how much fun our first ever pajama pizza party was. How funny E was trying to decide between Frozen and Backyardigans.....her eyes wide, a little smile on her face, and her head shaking back and forth looking at the cases. How amazed she was that we pulled pillows off the bed and sat on the floor to eat dinner. Glancing over and seeing her sitting in her little brown chair totally enthralled with the movie. How worried she was when Anna was "nigh nigh". Seeing her dance along to the songs she's heard so many times in the car. Thinking, again, how lucky I am to be her mama.

I think back to those early days and I miss that teeny little baby. I think back to last summer and last fall and I miss that sweet, smily, cuddly baby. But, dang, I sure love the cool little person she's becoming.

Life is good.

We're baaaacccckkkk!

Holy cow time flies when you have a little one! I really think, to be fair, time WITH the long anticipated baby should go at least as slowly as it did while waiting!

E is now 17 months old and so much fun (most of the time). She's not just walking, but running, all over the place. She loves to climb and will climb anything or anyone that holds still long enough. She can entertain herself for long periods of time (hence the reason I'm able to get back to blogging!) as long as you don't mind a path of tornado like destruction. She loves figuring things out! She loves books....I often find her reading to herself in her room. She loves music and dancing. Her two favorite songs right now are "Wheels on the Bus" and "Uptown Funk"! 

Her current stats are 19 lbs 4 ozs (man, I was so excited at her last appointment to hear we finally broke out of the 18's!) and about 30 inches. She's in 12 month clothes still......and the waistband on most of the pants is still too big! Her feet finally grew...she's currently in size 3 shoes. She's tiny, but mighty! I work hard to not solve her problems for her but let her figure out how to do things on her own. 

She talks all.the.time but usually sounds like Boo from Monsters, Inc.-- right cadence and inflection but (usually) gibberish. She has a TON of words she CAN say but usually just uses her own language. We have heard her say "I don't know", "fix it", and "go bye bye" along with 20-50 single words (her favorites being Poppa and puppy). She's great at answering yes or no questions but gets this funny, irritated look if I slip and ask her either/or type questions :)

We are definitely in Toddlerland.....complete with dramatic meltdowns and occasional sassy behavior. E definitely knows her own mind and what she likes and wants! She really is easygoing and well behaved most of the time, especially in public. Just like the rest of us, her tough times are when she's tired or hungry.

We apparently got put on the fast track for teeth! She got her first teeth at 5 months old. At 17 months she now has 16 teeth! The last 4 aren't SUPPOSED to show up till after her 2nd birthday so hopefully we get a break for a while now! All those teeth mean that she pretty much eats whatever she wants. She's a great eater and can really pack it away! Her favorite foods right now are green beans, black olives, cheese and whatever someone else is eating :) 

As I write all this, I am still awed and humbled that I was chosen to be this amazing girl's mama. I will forever be grateful to and love E's first mama. I've told her before and I'll say it again.....you don't get a kid this smart, funny, sweet and just plain awesome without a whole lot of stuff being done right for those nine months. Given love, given life....not given up!

If you have ever loved a child or loved a mom then please enjoy a virtual hug from me and E....and have a wonderful Mother's Day.

A reminder

The moment captured in this photo is only possible because of the deep love and selfless actions of an amazing woman. November is National Adoption Month. Each day this month, please say a prayer for all birth mothers and all expectant mothers considering adoption.......their greatest sadness will enable someone to experience their greatest joy. And please, please, please....do not make assumptions about birthmothers or pass judgement.....we adoptive mamas feel just as strongly about our kids' birthmothers (and birth fathers) as we do about our kids. We will go all mama bear on your butt if you criticize or speak badly them. They entrusted us with their, and our, greatest blessing. 

Ramblings

I should be in the shower. Or asleep. Instead, I just reread a bunch of old posts and now I have all these thoughts running around my head that need to get out.

First....I chose the quote above because it is totally how I feel about E. I just spent 99% of today holding and cuddling her because she felt crummy after her shots yesterday. She didn't go to bed till 930 (normally she's asleep by 8) and I'm sitting here missing her. I don't think there will ever be enough days for me to get my fill of this girl. She makes my heart swell. 

And now to continue with the random thoughts:

* Nobody prepares you for the intense worry you feel as a parent. It's worse as a single parent cause there's not usually someone else in the house who can look at your child and tell you they're probably ok. I'm pretty sure E's file at the pediatrician's office is flagged with a special "wacko mom" sticker. I call the advice line or jump on the website all.the.time. 

* It really is darkest before the dawn. Some of my bleakest posts were just weeks before I was matched with E's first mom.

* I miss my bunny. I miss rubbing her nose, how excited she'd get for treats, watching her scare the cat and getting one of her rare kisses. 

* I love being a stay at home mom (even though, or maybe especially because, it's only for a short time). August is truly going to suck. 

* I may need some form of therapy....I am full out dreading moving E into her own room this summer. She has always slept in my room and I love having her close by. I love that when I wake up at 2 am because I haven't heard her in a while I can just roll over and touch her (her bassinet is literally only about 6 inches from my bed). But, she's only got about 2 inches before she's out of room in the bassinet so I'm going to have to break down and move her to her crib. The thought literally makes me want to cry. See....therapy.

* I find it odd that people keep inviting me to play games on Facebook. Who has that kind of time? I don't get to shave on a daily basis...

* It is still surreal and magical to see E wearing, playing with or using things I bought during the wait.

* I owe so may people thank you notes. Still. They WILL get done this summer. Somehow.

Ok.....brain feels a little less cluttered. Goodnight.

My California Girl

I know it's been forever since I've posted and I know I should do a long one and update everyone on how E is doing.....but we're having too much fun enjoying my temporary stay at home mom status. :) I will say that she had her 6 month appointment today (a little late) and she weighs 14 pounds 14 ozs and is 26 inches long. She has 2 bottom teeth, can sign more, eat, all done and want, can say mama and is working on grandma and grandpa, can sit up pretty well on her own (especially if there's other babies around), can roll over to get places and has started scooting but is stuck in reverse. She loves swim class and enjoys watching all the kids at library story time. She is funny and smart and sweet and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Forever grateful. Forever blessed.

Food, glorious food!

E has been very interested in food for over a month now. I actually started feeling guilty eating around her....she'd smack her lips and watch every bite. We had her 4 month appointment this week and I discussed this with her dr. I love her pediatrician! She always seems so happy to see us, spends a long time with us and makes sure all my questions get answered. She's also very knowledgable about current studies, research, etc. Anyway, she said that E could start solids, as long as I wasn't giving enough to make a meal (she wants to make sure she's still getting enough formula each day). I swear Emma understood what the dr said....the words were no sooner out of the doctors mouth when E started squealing and waving her arms around! Thursday night we face timed with Grandma and Grandpa as E got her first taste of cereal! It was pretty funny. She'd make the worst face, spit most of it out, then suck on her tongue and lips. :) I'm sure not much made it into her tummy but we sure had fun. 

And, in case you're interested, Emma is now 24 inches long (25%) and weighs 12 lbs 11 ozs (16%). Her dr showed me the stats plotted on a graph and she's following her growth curve perfectly! 

She's so much fun to be around and so easy going....I really hate that Spring Break is almost over. 14 work days till Easter break, then 25 work days till Summer break. But, who's counting.....