So....single motherhood?

A big part of my two year decision process was trying to decide if being a single mother was something I could really, truly do. I did not enter into this journey lightly ( remember the insane amounts of research I mentioned?). Now, a lot of that research and pondering and thinking was done in the privacy of my own home. I didn't talk to too many people about what I was contemplating. I mean, when you married folks are trying to conceive, do you keep all your family, friends and coworkers apprised of every..um....effort? So, I can totally understand why it surprised a lot of people when I told them of my desire and intention to adopt. But really, I've done my thinking and wondering and worrying and down right freaking out about the fact that it will be ALL ME ALL THE TIME. Ask my friends-- they all have kids and have been very kind about answering my endless "how do you handle...." questions.

All that being said, I do feel pretty confident in my abilities. I feel like I have an idea of what it's going to be like to navigate through a day as 2 instead of 1 (or 3). I'm prepared for the lack of sleep and extinction of the luxury of sleeping in (although, I reserve the right to whine about it; I love sleeping!). Looking ahead, I'm prepared for the home, homework, cook, homework, sleep, repeat cycle.  Do I think it's going to be easy? No. Do I think it's going to be all hearts and rainbows? No. Do I realize that this will be the hardest thing I will probably ever do in my entire life? Yes. But you know what? I wouldn't want to imagine my life any other way. I've had my sleeping in and lazy Saturdays where I didn't get dressed all day and all day shopping marathons and eating cereal for dinner. I'm ok leaving it all behind. Baby will be worth it. I'm ready.